Mindset,  Public Speaking Fear

Why Comparing Fuels Public Speaking Fears And What To Do About It

We all do it.

It is not a bad thing per se to compare.

It’s just… sometimes it’ll prevent you from reaching your goal (e.g. showing up on camera, recording a video, going live on FB).


Basically there are two options how you will feel after you compared yourself with others. You’ll feel better or you’ll feel worse.


Honestly, what is more likely to happen?


When you watch someone else’s FB live whom you adore you might think:


  • I can’t speak so fluently.

  • I would forget what I want to say.

  • She is so calm, I would freak out and everyone will see it.

  • I don’t have the technical equipment.

  • My background isn’t perfect.


Chances are with these thoughts in mind you’ll not show up on FB live very soon. These thoughts fuel your fears and you’ll hide in your shell because you don’t feel confident.


Here’s what you can do to get out of your shell and FEEL CONFIDENT


First of all never compare your first, second or sixth FB live with someone who showed up every day the last two years. It all comes down to practice, practice, practice.

Ask yourself the following questions:


  • What do I need to speak fluently?

Maybe you simply need to prepare what you want to say. There is no rule that says you have to wing a FB live. Preparation is fine. Gather your thoughts. Think about it a for 10 or 20 minutes and then go live.


  • How do I make sure I don’t forget what I want to say?

As mentioned above, preparation is very helpful.
Additionally writing down some notes is a proven way to make sure you know what to say.

Looking at your notes from time to time is fine. It tells people that you put time and energy into your talk to make sure to stay on topic.

Your viewers will appreciate that.


  • How do I tame my public speaking fears and stay calm?

Preparation and notes will help. When you’re well prepared and have some notes to look at “just in case”, you’ll automatically feel calmer.

Additionally, a calming meditation works wonders.


  • I don’t have the technical equipment. My background isn’t perfect.

It’s not about perfection.

It’s about you and your lovely personality!

Do you know Kris Carr? Maybe you watched one of her beautiful videos in the last years. Nearly perfect, aren’t they? I’m a big fan.


Now, talking about perfection… I found this video from Kris Carr that she recorded 8 years ago. Looks different. Less perfect but her lovely personality shines through as always.

It often helps to see where other people started and where they are now. This puts our expectations into perspective and we get a glimpse of what will be possible for us.

Until next time… Remember the world needs your voice ♥



Do you want my help?

My 8-week 1:1 Coaching Program is designed to help you show up confidently on Facebook Live and sell in a way that feels good. LEARN MORE…



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